There is a wide variety of people in the world today who call themselves parents. A parent is one who cares more about a child than themselves. A parent is loyal and unselfish to their child’s needs and will push to the limit to make sure the child is taken care of properly. A parent is one to go out of their way to keep their child safe and out of harm’s way. There are many people out there who believe that they are a parent even though they have pawned their child off on someone else to raise. There are many qualifications for a person to be considered a true parent and each of these qualifications hold an importance.
A person needs love to be qualified as a parent. A person needs stability and structure to be qualified as a parent. A person needs motivation to succeed to be qualified as a parent. A true parent does not have to try and make themselves love their child, the love comes natural. “Parents are generally not concerned for their children out of duty, but simply out of love; and the love, needless to say, is not a love of duty but a love of the children” (Haji, Ishtiyaque, and Stefaan E. Cuypers). A parent loves their child unconditionally because they want to, not because they have to.
Love is an important qualification for a parent to have because love shows the child that they are truly cared for. Love is having the time for your child and giving them the affection they need to develop their own sense of love. A parent giving a child the love that the child desires builds a bond between the two. A child who is loved will depend more upon the parent knowing that the child will be taken care of always, just as though they will with stability. Stability and structure is also a necessity for a person to qualify as a parent.
A child needs stability and structure both financially and emotionally with the parents. A stable and structured life financially can help the child be comfortable in one environment. A child should not be drug around from house to house not knowing where to call home. Emotionally, a parent should acquire a stable and structured relationship with their other half. “Strong nurturant relationships with one’s mother and one’s father provide stable beases for global self-esteem throughout the early adolescent to early adulthood” (Buri, John R. . A child does not need to grow up in a household where parents fight and where one is in and out of the child’s life. Same goes for if the parents are split up, a parent should not bring petty relationships into the child’s life. Especially not knowing for sure if the new relationship will work out because this could cause attachments that could upset a child. Another qualification that is important for a parent to acquire is motivation.
A parent with motivation is someone who will go as far as it takes to achieve their goals. The construction of personal goals that optimize the potential to deal successfully with forthcoming life-span transitions (Baltes, 1997) requires a comparison of individual motivation and the opportunities, challenges and constraints typical of the transition in question, such as parenthood (Salmela-Aro, Katariina). A true parent is someone who strives for success and will push as far as they can to ensure meeting their child’s needs. Motivation is important for a parent to possess because it shows how much the parent truly cares for their child.
I know what qualifications parenting requires because I am a mother of a two-year old boy and I have seen what a good parent and a bad parent is. I have an older sister who has two children of her own and I have watched my sister fail as a parent. The children have been raised by grandparents while my sister goes out and does what she pleases. My sister is a selfish person who will not give her children the love and affection they need nor the stability. My sister does not care about her children the way that she should, she has been through rehab because of her drug use countless times and things never change.
I have watched my sisters children sob time after time because of her false promises to do better and to take care of them. My sister has done wrong by her children and I have learned that some people just do not have what it takes to be a parent, you have to WANT to be a parent to succeed at it. I want to give my son a better life than my sister gave to her children. I want to be different than my sister. I want to see my son succeed in life and be happy that I am his mother. I give my son my all.
My son has motivated me to do what I need to so that I can give him the best life possible. Some people believe that just because they give birth to a child that they are parents. This is true, but there is a lot more that comes with parenting than just birth. A parent does give birth to a child BUT they must fulfill the obligations that come with parenting to be qualified as a parent. A parent needs to be able to support their child both emotionally and financially so that there is sufficient stability and structure in the child’s life.
A parent needs to give their child the love and affection that the child deserves, because the child needs to know they are cared for. A parent needs to push forward and give their all to ensure their child’s happiness and success. Most importantly, the parent must want to be a parent and act unselfish enough to put the child’s needs before the parent’s needs. There are certainly different qualifications that make a parent an actual parent. I believe that love, stability and motivation are the three most important qualities a parent should have.
There are parents out there in the world who could be amazing parents but they choose not to. There are children who suffer because they do not have the home they should have, nor the love they should have, or a person who wants to give their all to make sure the child is brought up in a good environment. Being a parent is an absolute blessing and I do not understand why some children go without parents. I can only wish that every child would have the proper parents that they truly deserve.
January 9, 2018
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