Personal Statement

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I woke up to find my self dead. Lying there completely motionless. My body lay before me, a very bloody and mutilated corpse for that matter. But the ironic thing was that I wasn’t there when I died, because I’d been away, you see, away from my physical body. My mind – spirit, soul, psyche, consciousness, call it what you will, I was terrified so terrified that my, let’s call it my soul, had jumped out of my ridged body. I wasn’t there when I died. I didn’t absorb what lay spread before me, a strange feeling pumped through my bloodless veins which I couldn’t eternally describe.

The feeling was yet so mysterious I came to appreciate its presence flowing through my veins like a river flows through a canal. I was floating, adrift like some poor desolate body. But was I a ghost? If I was shouldn’t I have been on my way down a long black tunnel towards the light at the end? Shouldn’t my life have flashed before my very eyes? Sins and all? Where was my judgement day? Had I been forgotten about? The irony of this whole thing was that I didn’t feel very dead, not dead at all. But it is true if I were dead wouldn’t I at least feel dead?

It was like being exiled from my own body, now my body what was left of it anyway was an empty lifeless shell. I could almost taste the putrid smell that absorbed the air around my very soul, a decomposing smell, my body that lay before me was rotting away and I could not do a single thing to slow down the reaction. I was hopeless like a new born child; I had no power over it, not even a single ounce, I was like a fish out of water but I was not out of water but out of my very own body, the mutilated corpse.

The room in which my body shall lie till forever more was dark and damp, the wallpaper was pealing off the horrid wall’s as though by it’s own accord, the floor board’s were also creaking upon there own accord, but how? Was there someone there, walking over these very rigid boards, I almost could feel there presence, the feeling was coming from the pit of my transparent stomach. Wouldn’t I be able to see whoever it was? But I couldn’t see them, the thought that someone was there was driving me insane, I could not stop pondering over it, as thought it was compulsive to do so.

I set adrift and floated towards the window with great difficulty, the pane of glass which sat in the window frame had become a home to millions upon millions of dust. The window was cracked from corner to corner, like a grin that was stretching from hear to hear. I looked through the glass and was and could see a full moon breaking through the clouds in the distance. The moon was shining through the bare branches casting eerie shadows on the ‘black’ path below.

A cool breeze was blowing sending leaves dancing noisily across the over grown grass below. I turned around once more and wonder weather I ought to stay with my corpse, what was left of it anyway. I decided to leave my decaying body where it lie, I floated towards the door and reached out for the handle, I had forgot that I was no longer a solid physical form but a weightless transparent one. I glided through the door which was a strange feeling, a feeling so strange that I dare not ponder on for another second.

I was not a room anymore, I was in a dark and eerie corridor, it was a very narrow corridor, and the walls were only at least a metre apart. I floated to the floor, or at least quite closey anyway. I looked around from wall to wall and from ceiling to floor. The ironic thing was that one of the wall’s was a very dark shade of black and the other a very light shade of white. It was as though the walls were telling the story of this enormous house, like it was telling us that there had been death here but also life.

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