Memories are forgotten, but never lost

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It’s been four long months since I last saw Li. Before he went to live in Hong Kong, he told me something that made my heart beat like it never had before, he said “I love you Yuki”…..

If only I could turn back time and tell him four months ago that I felt the same way towards him and that he was the only one for me. However, I was too shy to express my feelings and before I knew he went to the airport without telling me he was going and completely disappeared from my life.

I still speak to Yuri who is Li’s cousin and we continue to send emails to each other along with Mio, my best friend. Yuri sent an email two days ago writing about how Li’s still waiting for a reply from me and that he has not found anyone he truly loves except for me. I would tell him how I feel but because he told me in person, I would want to do the same as well. I don’t want to call him or write to him, I want to say it face to face, gazing into his gorgeous eyes, I want to tell him how I feel, to tell him that I love him more than anything in the world.

Every year in Japan, it’s a tradition for each class to do an activity for the school. Something for the pupils, teacher and anyone else who is there to enjoy. Each class does their own unique activities for example a class can do fortune telling or even running a Tea shop. This year my class is going to do a play about a prince who falls in love with a beautiful princess, but the princess is too shy to show her true feelings towards him. I was chosen to act as the princess and Nato, my class mate was chosen to play as the prince. We started to rehearse the script that Katara (who is Nato girlfriend) created.

At the end of the long school day me and Mio wanted to visit the new amusement park which was built near Li’s and Yuri’s home. The amusement park looked amazing but as we walked passes the amusement park but being near Li’s home made me think about him and how he means the world to me. While we walk towards the gate of the amusement park, I felt a strange feeling, as if my heart was missing, as if it was trying to tell me something. As I turn left, I accidentally bump into a person but as I quickly look up to apologize I was lost for words, my heart suddenly started to beat faster, he said “Hello Yuki”……

As he stood in front of me, my eyes could not believe it, my heart started to beat rapidly, I can try to deny it all I want but I knew he was standing before me. Later on I saw Yuri walking with Mio as if they had planed this whole thing. Yuri started “I see Li has found you all ready, well that was quick” she then wink at me.

We all went to take a seat on the bench near the park, I was very curious about when they got here, so I ask. Yuri said that she and Li just arrived from Hong Kong and wanted to surprise me. I was very shock to see him but in my heart I was happy, because it gives me a chance to tell him that I love him. She also said that it was all part of her and Mio’s plan for them to come to Japan and stay for the summer festival, Yuri and Mio both smiled at each other.

As we approach my house, I invited everyone to have dinner however what I didn’t expect was for Mio and Yuri to say that they had something to do. Yuri carried on saying “treat my cousin to dinner I think he would enjoy it and you two have a lot of catching up to do”. She then smiled and with a blink of an eye, Mio and Yuri started to run.

Li was sitting in the living room while I was making tea. Later on, he came and asked me if I needed help but I said, “No thanks”. I brought the tea and cake towards the table where he was, I then started to speak, clutching my hands together near my heart. I said in a soft voice, “Um…Li, I have something to say to you” he looks into my eyes. “I….., I…”

“Ding dong”, the door bell rang loudly; I quickly stood up to see who it was. It was Nato, he came to give me the new script for the play and he saw Li in the corner of his eyes. He then offered to give Li the script as well, asking if he could practise with me. After Nato left, I started to get ready for dinner, my heart was racing when I was talking to Li and I thought that I would not be able to breathe…. but I have to tell Li how I feel. This maybe my only chance to say it before he goes back to Hong Kong.

After dinner I thought that it was another opportunity for me to try again. I spoke in a gentle quiet voice, “Umm… Li… I have something to say…” he stared into my eyes and my heart started to pound on my chest like a drum dum, dum, dum. “I…., I….”

“Hi ugly monster I’m home, what’s for dinner…?” oh no it was my big brother; Li and my brother don’t get along but I know in their heart they are good friends. ” YOU, You little twerp, what are you doing here?” I could see it in both of their eyes that there was a war going on. Luckily my brother invited Kyon, a very close friend of everyone who I know. Kyon was trying to stop the war and whispered into my big brother ear and told him, “What do you expect? Your sister is really, really beautiful and cute”, he then winked at Li who smiled back. “Shut up, don’t remind me and you are meant to be you be helping me, not them” we all laugh.

As I walked him out of the house me and Li said our goodbyes to each other. I quickly ask is he coming to school tomorrow and he replied yes, with a stunning smile. When he left I stood there thinking what tomorrow will bring and would I ever be able to say it or not.

Three days have passed and I was getting the used to being a princess. The day before the festival, I had plan for all of us to celebrate by going to the amusement park.

The next day everyone was waiting for me because I slept late thinking about today that I might be able to tell Li how I feel. Throughout the day we went on lots of rides and enjoyed ourselves but I still didn’t find the courage to tell him until, we went on the Ferris wheel……

As everyone got in and the door was starting to close Mio and Yuri ran out and left me with Li by ourselves, they yelled “we going to get food” then the door slammed. We slowly went up and all of a sudden we heard a disturbing sound coming from the Ferris wheel, we were half way there when it stopped. I thought that this maybe be another opportunity for me to tell him how much I love him. I spoke in a soft quiet voice, “Li” he looked into my eyes and said “what is the matter?” I tried speaking while clutching my pink dress as my face turned bright pink “I…, about you…., Li……, I…” he was waiting for me to say something. “I…” then unexpectedly the Ferris wheel started to move and I slowly drifted into his arms, as I quickly realised what had happened I quickly got up and looked the other way while trying to breathe at the same time. He asked me if I was okay and if I was hurt, I spoke in a gentle voice while my face turned pink again “I am fine, thank you for asking” he then smiled and replied “that’s good I didn’t want you to get hurt”. I then felt a strange feeling in my heart, it was a happy feeling that I have not felt for a very long time.

Next morning, I was getting nervous about the play that my class will be performing in front of the large audience. On my way to school, I saw the stage being set and started to tremble as I imagined myself up on the stage and the whole audience staring at me.

When I arrive in school, we all planned to have one more rehearsal to gain our confidence and to show our teacher. After rehearsals, we change into are costumes to see if it fits, I wore a beautiful pink, silk dress and Nato wore a red suit. We all smiled and couldn’t wait for the evening to start but at the same time I saw Li exit the class room, I thought to myself that something might be on his mind so I followed him outside.

He then started to speak “it’s been four months since I last saw you and look at you now, you have grown up to be a beautiful princess” I started to walk towards him, I stood by and said “yes it has been a very long time” he then turned around facing the other way towards me and said in a very sad, lonely voice ” I don’t care if you forgot about me, but as long as your happy I don’t care what ever happens to me.” I stood there looking at him; I was astonished that he would say such a thing and before I could reply he ran thinking that I didn’t love him anymore. My heart sank towards the bottom of the sea like the titanic, so did my hopes and dreams of the person who I truly love, the person who means the world to me. As I thought to myself thinking if I had said it a bit sooner, I could have avoid this whole situation but it was too late.

Entering the classroom tears of pain and sorrow start to drip from my eyes and my aching heart felt like it was being tortured to death. I couldn’t stand this feeling, feeling of a world with no love, no one to fall in love with. I ran home and cried all day hoping that somehow I would get better, somehow there is a part of him that still cares about me, and somehow he still loves me.

Later on I was woken up by Kyon, he knew that something was on my mind and wanted to help. He asked what was wrong and I told him everything. At the end he said “the best thing to do is to still tell him that you love him, no matter even if he does not like you, you should still tell him how you feel about him” he smiled and added “you can do it Yuki”.

It was 4pm and I was almost at school to help out with moving the cloths and crops for are big play. As I arrive in school I saw Li helping out, I said good afternoon and he replied as if nothing has happened ” good afternoon Yuki”. We were moving the cloths when there was an unexpected earthquake which only lasted a couple of seconds. Li ran towards me and ask if I was ok and I said “yes” however in the distance we heard an agonizing scream, we quickly ran towards it and it was Katara, she was screaming because Nato was horrifically hurt.

Nato had hurt his arm he described the pain to be excruciating; our teacher rushed in and looked at the damage to his arm. He then said in a very depressing, miserable voice “I’m sorry students but with this terrifying injury he is unable to perform, so we have to cancel the play”. Nato yell “you can’t cancel the play, there is someone who can take my place… am I right Li?” everyone stared at Li, hoping he would agree to take over for Nato, Li replied confidently “yes”.

As the evening started and everyone started to come we all got ready for are big performance. I was putting on my gorgeous, pink, silk dress and Li was wearing his bright, handsome red suit. I started to tremble as I thought of being out there on the big open stage performing for everyone, performing with Li!

After Mio sang we had to prepare to be on stage and perform. The play opened with a mask ball, I entered from the left then moved to the centre and Li came from the right. As he came towards the stage I could not believe my eyes he looked gorgeous, he smiled and asked “may I have this dance princess”. My face turned bright pink and for a minute I forgot my lines because I was too busy gazing into his eyes. I swiftly replied with “yes please”, we danced in the beautiful moonlight as everyone watched us and didn’t have a care in the world about what happen next.

After the dance we went to the royal park and sat down, he then said in the same romantic way he did four months ago “I am in love with you princess” I quickly turned the other way and my heart started to beat swiftly, even though I know that this is a play, I felt like he still means it. I said in a calm voice “I…., I….., I’m sorry, but I can’t have the same feeling that you have towards me” Li then immediately replied “is it because of me” I yelled “NO” then gently spoke, it not because of you”. I then turn around so I am face to face with him, and started to cry I said in a depressing voice “we just can’t be together” I ran off the stage and Li stood there looking down as the curtains close.

As the first scene ended we got ready for the second scene in which the princess wanted to go back and tell him that she loves him.

The curtain open and we were ready for the next scene of our play but there was an unexpected accident, there was another earthquake much more powerful then the first one. This earthquake took the whole stage a part. I was about to get crush by the rumble of the stage when Li grab my hand and drag me towards him, I closed my eyes and hope that I was safe.

At the end of the earthquake I open my eyes and saw Li hugging me, trying to keep me safe and warm. We stood and look up, we were underneath all the rumble of the stage and it was just only us two. As time passed by I was feeling very cold and felt like I was in the North Pole. Li saw me shivering and he gave me his blazer too keep warm he then said “I hope you are feeling a lot better” I smiled, my face turned pink and said thank you.

Twenty minutes have passed and we were beginning to think, will they ever be able find us in the dark and chilling place. As I strive to survive I had a flash back, I remember what Kyon told me he said “the best thing to this is to still tell him that you love him, no matter what, even though he does not like you, you should still tell him how you feel”.

I knew I had to tell him now before I regretted it, I started to tremble again as I tried to force myself to say it but before I had a chance, a steel pole was falling on me. Li hastily pushed me to the side to avoid it from falling on me. I felt that this was my only chance to tell him before we both die.

I said in a calm, gentle voice “Li….” he look at me, my heart started to thump; I clutched my hands together and placed it near my heart. “I…..I…..” I cry “I’m in love with you, you my number one, Li” he stared at me and said nothing, from that point on my aching heart shattered into a million shards of glass and tears of sadness and sorrow starts to drip from my eyes. “Me too” I slowly look up at Li; he smiled at me “Yuki” we then heard noises coming from outside we both looked up to see who it was and it was our friends.

When we got out of the rumble and stood side by side one another I couldn’t help but to leap into his arms and told him “I’m never going to let go of you” he smiled and replied “me too”.

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