Emotions

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My mother was all I had in this world. It has been two weeks and I still refuse to believe she has gone. During my mothers last few weeks, her face totally changed; cancer is such a terrible disease. Why did she have to leave me to cope with all this on my own? It is so messy. Apparently there was a big secret that I would find out. A short while before she passed away, my mother said that I had to read her will and I would find out what it was. Couldn’t be half as bad as she was making it out I thought. But back then; I couldn’t of even dreamt of what was to happen to me. I burst out crying.

I was scared, hurt and felt like no one. I had been adopted. I looked at the papers and still couldn’t understand. Why, what and when? I loved my mother with all my heart; living with her for 14 years wasn’t just a way to pass time, it was my life. Should I even attempt to track down my biological mother? I felt guilty even thinking it. Nervous, shocked and determined I decided would go on a mission to find out who she was. I had to, It was very scary. I rang all the agencies and finally got sent information on her. They posted me ” mrs. Blakes” address and I was to see her the following week. Was I making the right decision?

At that moment it seemed to be. I lay in bed thinking. It was weird my life had changed so much in one week. What was going to happen now? Tomorrow was the day… I gulped and thought about it. That night seemed to last forever. The morning I was dreading had came. My heart was filled with mixed emotions. Leaving the house I bit my fingernails and prayed. I looked at the map, which my “mother ” had posted to me. I was feeling so nervous and scared. After living a lie for fourteen years I was finally going to find out truth. The weather was very cloudy and reasonably cold, but even so I was sweating tremendously.

I reached the Bus station and turned left. In Five minutes I would be there. A feeling of excitement yet fear blew over me. My heart was beating at what felt like 100 miles per hour. I could not stop thinking about the moment I would remember for the rest of my life. Was I doing the right thing? “Lingams Avenue. ” I was there. “Oh my god. ” I thought, “Oh my god. ” Carrying the map my hands were trembling. I approached the block of flats. Steaming hot blood rushed to my face. The spiralling of the stairs seemed to correlate with my untamed emotions. Victory.

I reached the final step. What seemed like forever, had come so soon. I had butterflies in my stomach. I didn’t know if I wanted to go through with it. It was like I was going to meet my death or something. I reached a blue door. Shaking nervously, I rang the doorbell. This is it I thought, and gulped. When the door was opened; I didn’t know how to react. My emotions felt like they were on a roller coaster. Shockingly, Mr. Blake- my math’s teacher opened the door. There was a moment’s confusion and then a red haired lady came running to the door. There she was… my mother.

They both didn’t quite understand why I was at their doorstep but when I bought up the word “adoption” my ‘mother’ threw her arms around me. I just stood there silent. Mr. Blake had what looked like tears in his eyes. What was going on? Nothing was making sense to me at all. However, soon it became as clear as glass. My mother who had passed away and Mr and Mrs. Blake had all been best friends since high school. My mother had a sad illness, which prevented her from having children, so Mr. Blake and Mrs. Blake had given me to her out of sympathy soon after I was born. As the years past they lost contact.

It seemed like a very weird and unrealistic story but I seemed to take it all in. I sat thinking. Who would give a child away? But then I thought of other things. I could feel the adrenalin rush around in my blood. The man who had been teaching me for the last two years was my father! (He was also my favourite teacher. )And my mother was my maths teacher’s wife. Mrs. Blake was awfully kind and lovely to me- but why shouldn’t she be? She is my mother after all, even if I hadn’t seen her for fourteen years. I sat in that same sofa for six hours. Listening to a lot of explanations and hearing a lot of stories was beginning to confuse me.

I still couldn’t believe it all. My head was aching; it all felt like far too much shock and excitement for one day. Things really didn’t seem to turn out bad though. Well, it’s been two months and I’m sitting in a boring maths lesson writing this amazing story. Life is so different and I have had to adjust with a lot of things. I will always miss my mother though. My new parents are absolutely great! Whoops! Speaking of parents, here comes my dad; I know I should be paying attention in his lessons! My dad sure is nice but having him as a teacher- well that’s another story!

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